March 4th, 2013


By: Facebook Status Of A High School Senior Who Would Have Made OSU Worse, A Lot Worse

Look, I know it's been a while since I got accepted into each of the seventeen Ohio colleges to which I applied, but I've finally decided which institution will be given the privilege of having ME pursue a degree in the fall: I'M GOING TO BE A MIAMI REDHAWK!

I made this decision based on several reasons: 1. The campus is absolutely magnificent, stunning even. 2. I felt so welcome there. On my campus visit, the volunteers welcomed ME, my family, my backwards snap back hat, and my ironed slacks with open arms. I felt so warm. 3. It's a small campus where I can fulfill my psychological requirement to stand out in the crowd, but it also totally has the resources and options of a large university! That's what the pamphlet promised.

I seriously couldn't be any more excited. Sorry for dragging this Facebook status on so long but I want to thank my family for making this outstanding college education possible. I couldn't have ever payed for the school I got into all by myself because of my hard work and determination without you! Goodbye Cleveland; Hello OXFORD! Please like and share this. 

(Editor's Note: The student is actually from Hudson.)